


Ripped Stitches

by ardett



Series: Dream, Seam [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Character Death, Gen, Multiple Endings, idk there's a lot going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 23:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12641787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardett/pseuds/ardett
Summary: Restart program?A series of alternate paths in the Dream, Seam series.





	1. ENDING ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Because I can never let Lance just be happy (rip)
> 
> Original title was And My Nightmares Will Have Nightmares Every Night, from [Twin Sized Mattress](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1rzsT2t2YY) by the Front Bottoms, which I still stand by as a great song and title but I thought I'd change it to stay in theme with the series.

<SOLDIER LOST>

 

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<REBOOT>

 

<REBOOT>

 

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<Restart program?>

<y>

 

<ERROR>

 

<DATA WILL BE LOST>

 

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101 

 

<Restart program?>

<y>

 

<Please stand by>

 

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<Load last save point?>

<y>

 

<Please stand by>

 

<LOADING SAVE POINT>

 

<Loading…>

He tells Thace that the Blue Lion is awake…

  
  


<Loading…>

We can do this if we work together. Form Voltron!

 

<Loading…>

Thace looks sad but the Galra behind him smiles…

 

<Loading…>

Thace tells him very quietly that perhaps it would be better if Lance ignored that feeling…

 

<Loading…>

The first time Voltron is formed…

 

<Loading…>

The blue paladin tells the black paladin that the Blue Lion is three galaxies away…

 

<SAVE POINT LOADED>

 

That night, Thace comes to his room with a frantic look in his eyes. They are alone, but still, Thace hugs Lance tightly until they are just close enough for him to barely, barely whisper,  _ You don’t have to do this, Lance. I know I do not have the right to ask this of you, but you don’t have to do this. _ Lance says he doesn’t understand. The light goes out of Thace’s eyes.

 

<Continue from save point?>

<y>

 

Thace sits in his chambers, a soldier’s small room with only a bed and dresser, and stares blankly at the wall. The bolts holding together the sheets of metal blur and stretch under his unseeing gaze.

He was supposed to have an easy job, a simple job. He was only a sentry stationed in Earth’s orbit, one of many who watched the dormant planet. Even as a double agent, his only job was to be the communication link between Earthen rebel groups and the Blade.

He had worked his way to a comfortable status. It gave him the single barrack he had now. Sparse as it was, it gave him the privacy he needed to contact the Blade. He had done his job, every part of his abysmal job, well.

He had watched atrocities committed against this vibrant planet, rebellions crushed and revolutionaries made public examples of. He had earned his place by participating in these events himself. He was familiar with shuddering inhales in empty bathrooms and blood running down the drain. He has done his duty, horrors upon horrors piling on his shoulders. Most days, he can barely hear the voice that has been growing steadily weaker over the years, the one that reminds him that this is for the greater good and it will be worth it for a free universe.

The one voice that rings loud above the others is Kolivan’s, asking him for another year in service, just one more year and then he can come home.

He was supposed to be on this station for five years.

It has been nineteen.

He was meant to monitor Earth.

Now he walks the halls of the universe’s greatest enemy, aboard Zarkon’s personal warship.

He knows his life is wasting away. He meant to spend these years helping free the galaxies but it feels as if he has only wiled away the time in blood. And these years, how quickly they pass. He has seen Lance grow up so fast.

Lance…

Lance, the blue paladin. Lance, the reason he didn’t leave after he served his sentence. Lance, the reason he stays here still, reporting more on the boy’s status than he ever did on rebel activity. Lance, who he had hoped to steal away before it came to this. Lance, who is undoubtedly connected to Voltron. Lance, who has just revealed the location of the Blue Lion to Zarkon like his words don’t have the potential to condemn them all to an eternity of enslavement.

Lance, who should have become the blue paladin.

Lance, who is under Zarkon’s thrall.

Lance, who Thace won’t have access to much longer.

Thace understands the stakes. He always has. He would have never lasted this long, even been chosen in the first place for this job, if he didn’t. The answer rests in his palm, waiting to be heard from his communicator.

Thace closes his eyes and wishes he could stay in this darkness forever. He pictures the darkness as the darkness of his room, his real room, in the Blade of Marmora. It is a lie, as he opens his eyes and a door emblazoned with the Galra empire’s mark greets him.

He presses the call button.

 

Thace mumbles the password, the device’s scanners analyzing his face and voice, and waits for the signal to become encrypted. The telltale click of the communicator echos through the space like an executioner’s axe coming down.

“Communication established. Do you copy, soldier?”

“I copy you.”

“Please state your name and station.”

“Thace, stationed aboard Zarkon’s ship.” Thace is once again thankful this communicator is only auditory and that the Blade on the other end can’t see how his face twists at the sick feeling roiling in his gut. “I need to talk to Kolivan. Tell him it concerns the blue paladin.”

“Patching you through now.”

A pause, a breath of static, and then Kolivan’s voice. “Thace. What do you have to report?”

Thace goes to speak and plague rises up his throat. He clamps a hand over his mouth, swallowing it back down.

This will be condemnation. He knows it. He condemns himself and Lance both.

He has always understood sacrifices for the greater good. But this is the first sacrifice he has had to make of someone else. It is choking him.

“Thace, what do you have to report?”

“Lance, he… he is the blue paladin. He…”

“The longer we hold this connection, the more likely we are to be discovered. Don’t waste my time or yours, soldier.” Kolivan’s voice grows testy.

“He’s told Zarkon about the Blue Lion’s location. Voltron was able to wormhole away before the troops were released but… it will happen again.”

Silence on the other end. Thace wishes for it to stay silent forever so he would never have to hear the order. He won’t do it, he won’t be able to do it, if he doesn’t hear his leader say it.

“You know I would never ask this of you if there was another way. I… I wanted you to come home too. I know you wanted to see Ulaz’s cub. He’s grown much since you left.” 

Thace flashes back to wide violet eyes staring up at him from the ground, hands so small that they could barely hold the dagger their mother had gifted them. He had almost forgotten. The thought of seeing that cub grow up seems like a distant dream now. Ulaz’s cub must be about Lance’s age now. Thace can’t even remember his name.

“He’s aboard one of the gladiator vessels, smuggling prisoners out to us. You would be proud if-”

“Please stop,” Thace croaks. “I don’t want to know. It’s easier not to know.”

“I understand. Forgive me.” Kolivan’s voice softens, both guilty and soothing. “I only meant to imply that you would be saving so many other cubs… children, as humans call them.”

“You don’t have to convince me.” Thace’s throat tightens. “Just give me the order and I will do it.”

“I don’t want to give the order.” The pain in Kolivan’s voice brings tears to Thace’s own eyes.

“You must.”

“Then let me say thank you, old friend. Until we meet again.”

“Until we meet again,” Thace murmurs.

Kolivan gives the order.

 

Thace rests his hand on Lance’s door for a beat longer than necessary, aware of the cameras lining every inch of this hall. He has examined this hall a million different times, from a million different angles, and never has he seen a way out. Despite this, he searches one last time, vainly, hoping against hope that some other solution will present itself.

It doesn’t.

He didn’t allow himself to think about it. He hasn’t had much time to consider it anyway. Time is of the essence in this operation but never before has a cycle seemed to pass so quickly. 

In this last peaceful moment, Thace tries to privately say his goodbyes. It makes his eyes burn and as he blinks away tears, he pushes the uncompleted thoughts to the back of his mind. He must appear normal till the very last tick. The druids have already begun to suspect him and he cannot afford a slip up, not now.

Lance’s door slides to the side and there he is, curled up amongst his stuffed lions. Lance stirs at Thace’s entry, blinking only once before immediately sitting straight up in bed. He opens his mouth, then closes it, eyes cast to the floor in deference.

“You can relax, Lance. You can speak freely.”

Lance noticeably brightens, spine loosening and shoulders less tense. He maneuvers to the side of his bed, excitedly gesturing for Thace to sit next to him.

“Did you come to visit me?” Lance’s words are eager and hopeful. His next ones stab through Thace’s heart. “Is is because I did good? I told Emperor Zarkon where the Blue Lion was and he said he was very proud of me. Is that why you’re here too?”

“No, Lance, I… I’m… That’s not why I’m here.”

“Oh. Then why?” Those precious, innocent blues look up at him, look up to him. Those precious, universe-ending blue eyes.

“I came… I came to give you a hug.” The lie sticks to the back of his teeth.

“A hug? Really?” Lance’s whole face lights up as Thace nods and he all but throws himself into Thace’s arms. A happy sigh leaves the boy’s lips as he nuzzles into Thace’s fur.

Into Lance’s hair, Thace whispers, “I… I want to take you home, Lance.”

Lance’s embrace slackens. “Take me home? But Emperor Zarkon said I wasn’t allowed-”

“Don’t call him emperor.” A growl rumbles in Thace’s chest. “He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“What? I don’t understand-” Lance begins to pull away, trying to glimpse Thace’s face, but Thace only tucks him in closer as if that will protect him. “Thace, you’re scaring me.”

“Lance, I love you. And I’m-” A sob escapes Thace as he feels their time slipping away, sees the cameras in the room swiveling rapidly, hears footsteps rushing towards them. “I’m so sorry.”

“W-” 

Lance’s voice cuts off abruptly. Blue eyes stare up at him in shock as small, small human hand drifts to Lance’s chest and the blade protruding from it.

“Doesn’t hurt,” Lance mumbles as he holds his scarlet dripping fingers up to the light.

“It doesn’t hurt,” Thace whimpers, the scent of the numbing poison still on his hands from when they had coated the dagger. “I didn’t want it to hurt. I tried not to make it hurt.”

Lance reaches up to brush away Thace’s tears, leaving a trail of red in the Galra’s fur, before his hand falls to his side. Thace feels Lance’s body going limp in his arms.

“ ‘S getting so dark. Where're we going?” Lance’s eyes drift closed little by little and a keen rises out of Thace.

“We will go home together, young one. I won’t let you go alone. Not this time.”

Thace’s last thoughts when Galra soldiers burst through the door is that the numbing poison does its job well.

 

<SOLDIER LOST>

 

<BAD END: WINNERS AND SURVIVORS>

 

<Thank you for playing, Emperor Zarkon>

 

<Play again?>

<y>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody ever wins the games. Period. There are survivors. There's no winners. -Haymitch Abernathy


	2. ENDING TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The code, btw, spells Lance

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<Load last save point?>

<y>

 

<Please stand by>

 

<LOADING SAVE POINT>

 

<Loading…>

Someone had seen Thace as he hugged the boy to his chest...

 

<Loading…>

The Galra began to limit Thace’s visits...

 

<Loading…>

The next, _the last,_ time he saw Lance was before the Blade’s rescue when he was ordered to punish him…

 

<Loading…>

Now that he thinks of it, Lance hasn’t seen Thace in a long time…

 

<SAVE POINT LOADED>

 

Thace had been careless when he contacted the Blade, so desperate to get Lance to safety while the boy’s blood was still warm on his hands, and he hadn’t waited for a safe connection. The druids burst through his door minutes later. He had been lucky to escape with his life.

 

<Continue from save point?>

<y>

 

Thace’s breaths echo short and stilted in the enclosed space of his escape pod. The moment replays in his mind, torn skin and stained clothes and an instrument of pain in his own shaking hands.

He is no better than any soldier of the Galra empire, no better than Zarkon himself. He hurt an innocent, an innocent who doesn’t even understand that sleeping for less than eight hours isn’t deserving of punishment. Lance didn’t cry, didn’t shudder, when the Galra came into his room and told him they watched him wake up in the night and toss and turn for half a varga. He had just bared his back expectantly. His skin was smooth, unmarked, so Thace didn’t know why Lance wasn’t as surprised as Thace when the other Galra handed him a belt.

Lance didn’t look afraid but he would not meet Thace’s eyes. As if he was ashamed.

Then, the other Galra was hissing the order. Thace swore to himself that he would do whatever he had to to stay undiscovered, to remain with Lance. He has drawn so many lines in the sand and he has crossed all of them.

This one he crossed too but he could not bare it. Now he was discovered. Now Lance was alone. Now his bloody hands had to steer this craft towards any help out there that would get Lance away from Zarkon.

The Blade’s base is guarded and impossible to warp to. It will take too long.

There’s only one other force in the universe capable of stealing something out of Zarkon’s grip.

Voltron.

Thace scrambles through his memory and, yes, he remembers a soldier in the hallway whispering Lance’s next coordinates for Voltron’s location. Maybe by some miracle he will arrive first, before Zarkon’s ship amasses the power needed to warp a structure of its size. He must go now if he stands a chance. A chance at saving Lance.

He puts in the star system. There’s a lull as the technology registers the numbers and then his entire being seems to compress and decompress simultaneously.

He blinks at the lack of stars in his window before realizing what he’s looking at. Voltron’s castleship is so immense that it takes up the entirety of what he can see. It seems Lance’s coordinates didn’t fail him, taking him so close to the castleship that he could almost touch it.

Remembering why he’s here, he hails the spacecraft on every channel he can, praying one of them is open. A click, a crackle, and a voice asking, “Ship 203, come in. Do you read us?”

“I read you. Please, you have to help me.”

The screen flickers to life, showing the peering face of the Altean princess. And the shock on her face as she sees him for what he is.

“What could a Galra want with us?” Her eyes narrow. “Are you here tracking us? Have you come to scout ahead before Zarkon attacks us once more?” she accuses.

“No, no-”

Her gaze darts down to his hands. “And is that blood?”

“I…” He looks down at his palms and feels sick. A desperate feeling presses out from his chest as if he might burst. Every moment lost is another Lance is in danger. “Please, you must help me save him.”

“Who are you?” Allura asks, every inch of her harsh and untrusting.

“No, no, it’s not important. _He’s_ who is important and he’s-”

“Then who is he?” interrupts Allura.

“Lance, Lance, he’s being hurt, please-”

For a moment, the princess appears conflicted. “Voltron… is sworn to come to anyone’s aid. But…” Her face hardens. “We are being hunted. We cannot spare ourselves for a Galra boy.”

“He’s not Galra. He’s human. I swear it, he’s human, just as the other paladins are.”

“A human boy? What is a human boy doing with you?”

“No, no, I’ve lost him. That’s why I’m here. Zarkon, he-”

“Zarkon? The boy is with Zarkon? I’m sorry, but human or not, we can’t risk the fate of Voltron and the universe for a human boy.”

“But you must! He is your blue paladin, you must save him!”

“I have heard you petition thus far, Galra, but I will not listen to your desperate lies.”

“It is not a lie! How do you think I found you?”

This gives Allura pause. “Indeed. How did you find us?”

“Lance, he can-” Blaring sirens and red lights transmit from the castleship, cutting off Thace’s next words.

Allura meets someone’s gaze off-screen. “Princess, we are under attack!” a disembodied voice says and Thace recognizes it coming from Lance’s own mouth as he holds the white stuffed lion. “Zarkon has found us again!”

The Altean princess whips back to him, eyes blazing with fire. “You! You distracted me while Zarkon brought his fleet upon us! I should have known never to trust a Galra,” she snarls. Thace can only stare back in horror as she finishes, “If I ever see your face again, you’ll wish I hadn’t been so generous today.”

The communication cuts away. Thace can’t move, can’t speak, can’t stop himself from feeling the drying blood in his fur.

It’s not until a Galra battleship zips past him that he snaps out of it. He warps away just as the lions begin their counterattack.

 

<Level failed>

 

<Access secret ending?>

<y>

 

Safely sequestered away from Zarkon, for now anyway, Allura finally brings up the matter that has been weighing on her mind.

“Paladins, there is something I must… confess.”

They are all weary but they give her their attention all the same, shoulders sagging but heads lifted.

“Before Zarkon attacked us, I was talking to another Galra on the main deck.” At their concerned protests, she raises a hand. “He was in a small pod that sent out a distress signal. We may not be able to come to everyone’s aid in our present state, but we should at least consider their pleas. And this Galra’s plea, it was… Well, I haven’t been able to decide whether it was so audacious that it must be true or he was trying to mock us.” Patiently, her paladins wait. She sighs and says, “He claimed that Zarkon has a human boy under his custody, a boy named Lance. He wanted us to save him.”

No one seems to want to say it, but Shiro finally answers, “The empire has thousands of human slaves and gladiators. We can’t… As much as we want to, we can’t save them all.”

“I know.” Allura rubs at her temple, the insurmountable challenge ahead of them as frightening as ever. “The path to a free universe is by defeating Zarkon himself. But that is not all that has been bothering me.”

“What was it then?” Pidge asks.

“The Galra said it was our duty to rescue this boy because… because he was the blue paladin.”

“But… you’re the blue paladin. Right?” Hunk squeaks.

The ache in Allura’s head intensifies. “We all known I am not meant to be the Blue Lion’s pilot. And it’s possible, even likely, that the blue paladin would be human as the rest of you are. We must be wary, of course. This could all be a ruse. But it troubles me that somehow Zarkon knows that we are missing a blue paladin. Easily enough he could have seen that you are all human from any footage from ships we’ve conquered, but the Blue Lion has fought in battles. We have formed Voltron. How did they discover I was not the Blue Lion’s destined?”

“Maybe he really is the blue paladin. Maybe… maybe that’s how they’re tracking us!” Pidge exclaims.

“Blue paladin or not, Zarkon has him,” interrupts Keith. “There’s no way they’ll let us get to him, _especially_ if he’s as valuable as the soldier says he is.”

Pidge bites her lip, picking grime out from beneath her fingernails and keeping her head down.

“Pidge, is there something you want to say?” Allura asks gently.

Pidge jolts, a guilty expression crossing her face. “Just… logically…” Her eyes skitter to the side. “If you can pilot the Blue Lion and we’re able to form Voltron, then is it worth sacrificing all of us… all of the lions to get him? I… I know he could be someone’s brother and I would… I keep thinking what if it was Matt but it’s not and we just don’t have the capability to take on Zarkon, not now. So if we’re casting votes… mine would have to be a no.”

Pidge looks to Hunk for reassurance, distress in her voice. “It’s just what makes sense. You understand, right?”

“I understand. But if we’re taking votes, mine is a yes. I mean… he’s... he’s gotta be a kid. We can’t just leave him there. Right?”

“I vote no,” says Keith.

Shiro looks pained. “I have to agree. In the face of the facts, I have to vote no as well.”

“Coran?” asks Allura.

“He’s just a wee lad, blue paladin or not, princess. I vote yes.”

“He _must_ be the blue paladin if we are to rescue him, Coran. It is the only way he is worth the risk.” Coran nods sadly as he sees Allura come to a decision. “We don’t even know if what this Galra spoke was true. We cannot spare ourselves for a fool’s errand, good-hearted as it may be. My vote is cast a no.”

 

Many decks below, the Blue Lion moans.

 

<Scene ended>

 

<Try again?>

<y>

 

It takes Thace a week to reach the Blade of Marmora and one more to wait for a large enough lull in the black holes’ strength that he’s able to slip through. It seems though that he is already too late.

He had gone to Kolivan as soon as he could. He knew how much every moment wasted could be another strike, another lash to Lance’s skin.

This time, he understood what he had to do. He had to convince Kolivan that Lance was a priceless asset to their cause or at least too valuable to leave in Zarkon’s hands. He had years of credibility behind him, as well as the weekly status reports he had sent in over the years describing just how special Lance was. He would have to be believed.

As long as he kept his anguish to himself, as long as he didn’t let his emotions get the better of him, he could convince them that Lance must be saved for the benefit of the whole universe. (The very thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. As if Lance hadn’t already given enough to a cruel reality, now the only way Thace saw to save him was to again commit him to another life he didn’t ask for. But for Lance’s life, he would do it.)

Haggard after days of travel, Thace arrives with matted fur and torn clothes at the bridge. His voice is ragged as he calls, “Kolivan!”

The room is near deserted this late and in the dark, Kolivan’s yellow eyes glow and turn to him. “Thace. I heard you had made landing. Miraculous in itself. We had all thought you dead after your communicator was destroyed. And in any case, I wasn’t expecting you quite so soon. You must rest, soldier.” Softer, he adds, “You have earned it.”

“I cannot rest until we retrieve Lance. He is…” hurting. “He is the blue paladin. We must save him from Zarkon. For the good of us all.”

Kolivan’s eyebrows droop, cutting the glow of his eyes in half. He looks infinitely sadder.

“You have not heard.”

Something squeezes in Thace’s chest. His voice cracks as he asks, “Heard what?”

“The Blue Lion hasn’t been spotted in over a week. The other lions, yes, but not the blue one. Voltron, or rather, its lions, have had to retreat because they are unable to pull their trump card. The most obvious conclusion is-”

“ _No._ ” Thace stumbles backwards as Kolivan reaches a hand out to him.

“Thace, please, you must accept-”

“ _No!_ No, he’s not… he can’t be…”

“We know Zarkon is a cruel ruler. This is not the first child he has killed, nor the last.” Tears drip down Thace’s face as Kolivan continues, “We will mourn him with you. But we must also go on.” Kolivan grasps Thace’s hands. “We must ensure such a thing never happens again. So we must go on.”

Thace pulls away. “I… I can’t. I cannot leave him.”

“He is dead, Thace,” Kolivan pleads.

“ _Then I will bring back his body!_ ” His roar echoes in the chamber.

Kolivan’s protests die as he meets Thace’s eyes. “Then I can only wish you luck, old friend.”

Though Kolivan doesn’t believe him, Thace promises anyway, “I will bring him back.”

 

<Level failed>

 

<Access secret ending?>

<y>

 

Thace keeps his words. He brings him back.

For a long, long time, Lance is… empty. The Blue Lion, Thace discovers, broke the bond between them. Lance recovers, ever so slowly, and as Thace tries to give Lance the childhood he deserves, the Blue Lion begins to fly once again.

When the first reports come in telling of Voltron’s return, Thace is terrified. He’s on his way to Lance’s room before he realizes that he plans to question Lance just as all the others before him have done. His steps slow, hands shaking at his sides. He leans against the wall and closes his eyes, taking steadying breaths.

The desire still burns in him though. He must know.

 

Lance doesn’t know anything about the Blue Lion’s recovery.

Nothing could make Thace happier than Lance never regaining his connection to Voltron, never being dragged back into this war.

As the years go on, Thace takes Lance away from the Blade. Thace whisks him to a paradise of a planet, miles of beaches and bountiful food. War is as far away as it can be with this planet well protected within free territory as an important trading partner to the Blade. There’s many families here as well, with children Lance’s age. It takes a long time for Thace to trust any of them enough to allow them close to Lance, but now he’s used to the sleepovers and playdates. Thace’s relatives have come to visit them. Kolivan has even come once or twice. Thace will never stop being thankful that Kolivan didn’t ask him to return to the war. He only smiled at Lance as the boy played in the waves and wished Thace happiness.

A few times a year, Thace takes Lance to visit his family on Earth.

The Blade has been going undercover to the planet for years, so slipping into the Earthen atmosphere is easy enough. It took many visits for Lance’s family to truly understand what had happened all those years ago, what happened to their son. But Thace and Lance have all the time in the world now. It’s still not safe enough to allow Lance to stay on Earth, nor bring Lance’s family with them, but Thace indulges every request he can when Lance is homesick. It is a good life.

 

Lance never regains the ability to connect with the Blue Lion. And Thace is happy.

 

<Scene ended>

 

<SOLDIER LOST>

 

<BAD END: THE LESSER GOOD>

 

<Thank you for playing, Emperor Zarkon>

 

<Play again?>

<y>


	3. ENDING THREE // SECRET ENDING

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<Load last save point?>

<y>

 

<Please stand by>

 

<LOADING SAVE POINT>

 

<Loading…>

The next,  _ the last, _ time Thace saw Lance…

 

<Loading…>

Thace had been lucky to escape with his life…

 

<Loading…>

He remembers a soldier in the hallway whispering Lance’s next coordinates for Voltron’s location…

 

<Loading…>

He is your blue paladin, you must save him…

 

<SAVE POINT LOADED>

 

“The Galra said it was our duty to rescue this boy because… because he was the blue paladin.”

“But… you’re the blue paladin. Right?” Hunk squeaks.

The ache in Allura’s head intensifies. “We all known I am not meant to be the Blue Lion’s pilot. And it’s possible, even likely, that the blue paladin would be human as the rest of you are. We must be wary, of course. This could all be a ruse. But it troubles me that somehow Zarkon knows that we are missing a blue paladin. Easily enough he could have seen that you are all human from any footage from ships we’ve conquered, but the Blue Lion has fought in battles. We have formed Voltron. How did they discover I was not the Blue Lion’s destined?”

“Maybe he really is the blue paladin. Maybe… maybe that’s how they’re tracking us!” Pidge exclaims.

 

<Continue from save point?>

<y>

 

Allura’s mind swirls with chaos. Could it truly be so? “You believe they might be tracking us through the Blue Lion?”

“Sure. Theoretically it makes sense. The lions have come to save us before, which implies they must have some way they can track us. That kind of connection always goes both ways. Now, how you could track that is… tricker. Do you think they could be hacking into his mind, like-”

“Pidge, he probably just told them,” growls Keith.

“But if he’s the blue paladin, why would he tell them?” Hunk looks from Keith to Allura. “He’s supposed to on our side, right?”

“He, like the rest of you, is just a child. The Galra empire could easily be manipulating him somehow. Our Galra did imply that they were hurting him and I wouldn’t expect an untrained individual to withstand Galra interrogations.” Allura’s eyes fix on a far off place as she voices her thoughts.

“Allura, are you suggesting we go after him?” Shiro’s tone isn’t accusatory but the weight of his question presses down on Allura all the same.

“I…” She hesitates. “Voltron must be the strongest weapon it can be to defeat Zarkon. Who knows how much of a difference acquiring the Blue Lion’s true pilot could make? So yes, I believe I am suggesting we attempt to rescue this boy. This… Lance. Will you join me?”

The paladins share looks but when they meet her eyes, they nod.

 

It takes them over a month to glean enough information about Zarkon to stage their rescue. It’s ironic really, considering they’re searching for ways to properly track the ship they’re fleeing from. While the lions fight battle squadrons, Coran scans the main ship for heat signatures, alien and human, and any possible entrances. With her invisibility shields, Pidge is able to stick a tracking chip on the side of an engine.

 

The day they warp into Zarkon’s airspace, they are greeted by a battle already underway. Explosions of fire and light dot the air, rapidly sucked away by space itself, and lasers cut down ships indiscriminately.

It’s impossible to tell who’s on which side. Both sides look Galran.

Allura gives the command to send out the lions. “The chaos may give us the advantage we need,” she says. “If anything happens to the blue paladin, all our work will have been for naught.”

It’s almost too easy to slip aboard. Some of the fighters, it seems, are on their side. At the very least, they distract Zarkon’s forces from forming an organized counterattack against the lions and paladins.

The paladins race down the hall, following the human heat signature. One door, the door they’re looking for, is already reduced to blackened metal, blown apart. Allura is the first inside, the first to see a Galra crouched over a small boy. Her bayard is out before she hears Keith shout, “Wait!”

Her bayard takes on the form of-

 

<Her bayard>

 

<heR bAyaRd>

 

<HEr BaYArD>

 

Her bayard takes on the form of the blue paladin’s favored gun. And unthinkingly, she fires.

The laser meets its mark, burning through to the Galra’s heart. Allura’s hands shake as she sees the body fall to the floor and the human boy is screaming screaming screaming over and over again Thace Thace Thace and the face she glimpses is familiar it belongs to the same Galra who pleaded with them to rescue the boy and the boy the boy is screaming screaming  _ screaming- _

 

<SYSTEM GLITCH>

 

<RESTARTING>

 

Her bayard takes on the form of her favored whip. It wraps around the wrist of the Galra, yanking him away from the human boy. But the boy leaps after the Galra, arms wrapping around his waist, and as they turn, Allura recognizes the soldier. It is the same one that petitioned them to come save this blue paladin in the first place. Immediately, Allura releases her bayard’s energy and the whip retracts, leaving a ring of singed fur in its wake.

The boy seems to be muttering a name over and over again into the Galra’s chest.  _ Thace. _ Allura stores that name for later to do further research. Now though, they can only concentrate on escaping alive.

“We must get off this ship.” Allura’s voice rings through the space, cleaving between the boy and the Galra.

“Yes, yes, we must,” Thace agrees. “Come on, Lance. We’re going to get you out of here.”

Lance nods, seeming to hang on Thace’s every word with absolute trust. Thace grips Lance’s hand to gently pull him towards the door. But then the boy jolts, turning back to his bed and murmuring, “Wait.”

Allura’s gaze follows Lance’s outstretched hands to the five stuffed lions between the cushions. Five lions. Voltron’s five lions.

“Isn’t that our battle formation?” Pidge mutters to Hunk. Allura swallows but says nothing as Thace and Lance gather up the lions.

The paladins form a protective bubble around their newly acquired members. The other Galra, who must be Thace’s allies, continue to distract Zarkon’s forces. Thace seems to be giving orders into his comm and their path is nearly clear before they arrive.

They all board their lions with Lance and Thace riding with Allura. Beneath her, the Blue Lion’s controls are smoother than they’ve ever been. Lance’s eyes are wide, a look of awe in them as he runs a hand against Blue’s side. A purr rumbles through the chamber.

Allura feels the Blue Lion pulling away from her as the lion focuses on Lance, on the true blue paladin, and as much as it hurts, this is a sacrifice Allura is willing to make.

 

<SOLDIER LOST>

 

<BAD END: ALLIES IN ARMS>

 

<Thank you for playing, Emperor Zarkon>

 

<Play again?>

<->

 

<ACceSs SySTeM GliTCH?>

<Y>

 

Lance watches Thace fall to the ground and behind him stands the blue paladin with a raised gun. The barrel still glows, the kind of neon blue that he sees in his dreams and that burns into his eyelids when he closes his eyes. But that blue has killed Thace,  _ Thace. _

He must be screaming but he cannot hear himself.

“Oh Altea,” he hears the blue paladin whisper as she turns away from the body.

Then they’re dragging him away, the green paladin and the yellow. He knows them. He’s dreamed of them so many times but never like this, never lit by purple Galran light and never standing on bloody floors.

He can’t reconcile it in his mind, that the paladins who he trusts, who he  _ loves, _ stood by while Thace,  _ Thace, _ was shot in front of him. Where was their kindness and softness, their forgiveness? Where were his lions?

_ His lions. _

“W-wait, Hunk, please-” Lance tries to pull away but the yellow paladin holds him back.

“I don’t know how you know my name but we have to go now. We’re going to get you out of here.”

“N-no, my lions, please, I need to get my lions.” Lance is near sobbing now. If these paladins aren’t like his lions then he at least wants to have his lions, and if they’re going to take him away, will they at least let him have- he needs-

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, we have to go,” the green paladin says and Lance can’t imagine that this is Pidge. Pidge, his small and cuddly green lion. Pidge, so smart and loyal to her family. Pidge, who should understand why he needs to have his own family, and they’ve  _ killed Thace,  _ won’t they at least let him go back for his lions?

Because they are not his lions. They are not the paladins of his dreams.

If they were, they wouldn’t have killed Thace.

If they are not his paladins, his lions, why should he leave?

Why won’t they just let him go back to Thace?

 

It’s too late. They’re aboard the Blue Lion and Lance watches as everything he knows shrinks away in the distance.

Something is pushes at the boundaries of his mind. It’s gentle and powerful and Lance knows intuitively that it is the Blue Lion who whispers,  _ My paladin, my lovely paladin.  _ Her words are laced with reassurance and joy that he is with her, that he is where he belongs.

It is what Lance has always wanted, to feel whole and fulfilled. But he feels emptier than he ever has before.

_ You are home, all will be right now,  _ the Blue Lion tries to tell him but all Lance can do is scream back,  _ Thace is dead, Thace is dead, THACE IS DEAD! _

It can’t be real. It can’t be. 

These are not the real paladins, and as much as this feels like the Blue Lion, it can’t be. It just another quintessence illusion and Zarkon is there waiting on the other side for Lance to wake up, waiting to brush his hand along the side of Lance’s face and tell him he’s done a good job. Maybe Thace, the real, alive Thace, will finally be there. If Lance can break the illusion.

Break… the illusion.

Break…

 

Distantly, distantly, Lance hears the Blue Lion pleading with him, crying. But it all goes quiet as Lance breaks the bond between them.

 

The ship shudders beneath him, lights flickering. The blue paladin is saying into her mic, “I’m losing control of Blue! Something is causing her to shut down! I don’t-” The Blue Lion thrashes and Lance is thrown to the side of the ship. The blue paladin seems to frantically be pushing buttons, pulling on the controls, trying to regain control of the lion. “I don’t know if we’re going to make it back to the castle.”

_ “Stay put. We’ll cover you. Stay safe, Allura.” _

Lance’s head throbs from where he collided with the wall, but it doesn’t hurt nearly as much as the burning, tugging, crushing sensation in his chest. He almost can’t breath. It’s like his heart’s been scraped out from behind his ribs. It had… It had never hurt this much before in an illusion.

The blue paladin looks over to him and her eyes widen. “Lance? Lance!” 

The last of Lance’s consciousness fades away.

 

Lance is there for a week.  _ A week. _ He doesn’t understand it. Everytime he falls asleep and wakes, he’s still with the paladins and not with Zarkon.

They keep trying to talk to him but he only stares at the ground, trying to figure out why he won’t wake up. They want him to visit the Blue Lion. When they think he isn’t listening, they discuss whether it’s the Blue Lion shutting down that’s made him mute or the other way around.

He also hears them talk about the reprieve of Zarkon’s attacks. Surely it’s only a matter of time before they put together that he was the one tracking them.

Why won’t he wake up?

He sits in the bed they’ve given him, looking at nothing. Maybe he needs to go farther. Maybe this is a test. Maybe Zarkon is looking for something specific from him. What does Zarkon always want?

 

The ground is cold beneath Lance’s bare feet and he shivers. It’s all quiet aboard this ship, in the halls and in his own broken mind. The control room is empty when he arrives, lit only by dim stars. The communication panel awaits him.

Months ago, Zarkon had Lance memorize his ship’s communication line. Just in case, he had said, just in case Lance was ever kidnapped by rebels or other forces seeking to destroy the empire. So Lance could always call Zarkon and they would come get him. Come save him.

His hand trembles as it reaches for the call button.

He trembles. (Has he trembled before in dreams?)

He shivers. (Has he shivered before in dreams?)

His heart  _ hurts, _ he feels so empty and lonely. (Is this a dream?)

_ (Is this a dream?) _

Lance collapses against the panel, hand falling away from the button, and sobs.

It’s not a dream. It’s not a dream and Thace is dead and he is broken, but it is not a dream. 

 

In the far corners of his mind, where all is dark and smothered and silent, there’s the faintest hint of a purr.

 

<SOLDIER LOST>

 

<SECRET ENDING UNLOCKED: DEAD DREAMER>

 

<Thank you for playing, Emperor Zarkon>

 

<Play again?>

<y>


	4. ENDING FOUR

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<Load last save point?>

<y>

 

<Please stand by>

 

<LOADING SAVE POINT>

 

<Loading…>

Lance is nine when he gets his first vision of Voltron... 

 

<SAVE POINT LOADED>

 

Lance is nine and three days.

 

<Continue from save point?>

<y>

 

Lance is nine and three days when he meets the Blade of Marmora. 

They arrive at the front door dressed as soldiers from Zarkon’s army, but once they’re inside, they reveal the blades sheathed at their belt. The daggers glow a familiar purple and all at once, Lance recognizes the rebel symbol they learned about in school.

Lance grabs at his mother’s dress as she steps in front of him, asking what the rebels want with a tremor in her voice.

The rebels, the Blade, as they call themselves, say they intercepted her call. They ask if she knew that making that call meant she would have to give up her son. And if she would give up her son to the Galra empire.

Lance’s fingers tangle further into the fabric of his mother’s dress as she hesitates.

“I wouldn’t have a choice,” she whispers. “Are you questioning my loyalty to the empire?”

“We are. And we’re asking if you want to help us take down the empire.” Their leader, Kolivan, stepped forward. “This isn’t a test of your loyalty. This is a test of your courage. You and your son could help us free the universe from the Galra’s reign. A free universe for the two of you and all you love.”

“I will not have my son be a traitor,” Lance’s mom hisses.

“Let me be absolutely clear.” Kolivan’s eyes harden. “Zarkon will come for your son whether you are loyal to him or not. He will take him from you and no one, including us, including you, will be able to stop him. All we ask is that you let your son do something noble with the little choice in his life he has left.”

“You would be putting him in danger. You’re putting us all in danger by trying to… trying to convince me to betray the empire!”

“We have an undercover agent on Earth’s station.” One of the other Galra hisses Kolivan’s name with wide eyes but Kolivan ignores him and continues, “Side with us and he will ensure the safety of your son. He will report to me and I will report to you. Refuse, and you will likely never hear from your son again.”

“Mama…” Lance whispers, burying his face into her side.

“Zarkon will take him and whenever he decides necessary, he will kill him,” Kolivan states coldly.

“Be quiet,” snarls Lance’s mom in response. “He doesn’t need to hear this.”

“Mama…” Lance doesn’t really understand what they’re talking about but somehow, it makes his throat ache. “Don’t wanna go. I wanna stay.”

His mom doesn’t answer, only lays a hand on his head and gently brushes his hair out of his eyes.

Kolivan’s voice is a little softer. “We can at least guarantee a way for you to communicate with each other. It is more than Zarkon will give you.”

Still, his mom hesitates.

Lance’s hands tighten on her dress. “I… I have to go? If I have to, than I wanna be able to talk with you. Don’t… don’t you want to talk to me?” His mom kisses the top of his head before turning to Kolivan.

She nods, just once.

 

When the Galra come again, they come from the empire. They take Lance away and on the third day, Lance meets Thace. Once a week, Thace finds a way to get the cameras in Lance’s room to turn off for an hour and once a week, Thace and Lance get to talk without restriction.

When Lance is nine, he learns what to say.

When Lance is ten, he learns what not to say.

When Lance is eleven, Thace tells him the truth about the empire.

When Lance is thirteen, Thace tells him about Earth, the one he knew and the one he didn’t.

When Lance is fourteen, Lance learns about the legend of Voltron as the rebels tell it.

When Lance is fifteen, Thace teaches him about the Blade.

When Lance is sixteen, the Blue Lion wakes up.

Lance has been trained for seven years for the day Zarkon would come for him. What to do and what to say, how much information to give away and when to give it. But Zarkon is… On some level, Zarkon is the black paladin and after Thace spending years fortifying his connection to the lions and the other paladins, Lance can feels that thin thread stretching between them. 

He wonders if Zarkon can feel it too. He wonders if Zarkon can see what he intends to do.

He wonders if it would have been better not to know, to still be a loyal servant of the Galra empire. Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt, it wouldn’t hurt how much he wants those seven years back.

Zarkon has been tracking Voltron for weeks now, or he thinks he has. Lance has been feeding him Voltron’s location hours to days late, enough so that Zarkon still trusts his information while Voltron slips between their fingers.

Lance knows they hate him, the paladins. He can feel their bubbling resentment and fear, their anger at some unnamed force that keeps giving them up. He is that unnamed force. And they hate him.

He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to face them.

 

In the end, the choice isn’t his to make.

The Blade had promised, they had  _ promised  _ he would get to return to his family, that he might even meet the paladins he had dreamed of. Thace had sworn it to him on the hardest nights, when there was blood smeared on the floor and he was sick off quintessence.

Lance has done everything the Blade has asked of him. He has given up his life to their cause.

When Zarkon finally falls at the hands of Voltron, Lance cries. He cries with relief for being freed from his mission, relief to finally be able to go home.

And then… Lotor. 

Lotor, and Thace telling Lance he must stay on Zarkon’s ship to influence Zarkon’s son. 

Lotor, and Thace telling Lance to stay, and Earth under siege as the Galra figure out the paladins are human.

Lotor, and Lance staying, and Earth destroyed, and Thace disappearing after Lotor sees them talking.

Lotor, and Lance staying, and Earth destroyed, and Thace gone, and the Blade telling Lance he’s their last resort and that they have reached their need for the last resort.

Lotor, and Lance staying, and Earth destroyed, and Thace gone, and Lance the last resort, and Lance holding a Galran blade.

Lotor, and Lance staying, and Earth destroyed, and Thace gone, and Lance the last resort, and Lance holding a Galran blade, and Lance saying goodbye to the home he never got to have and the family he never got to love.

Lotor, and Lance staying, and Earth destroyed, and Thace gone, and Lance the last resort, and Lance holding a Galran blade, and Lance saying goodbye, and Lance plunging the dagger into Lotor’s chest and ending the war.

Lotor, and Lance staying, and Earth destroyed, and Thace gone, and Lance the last resort, and Lance holding a Galran blade, and Lance saying goodbye, and Lance ending the war, and Lance honored with other fallen soldiers on the graveyard planet, a tombstone always heavy with the weight of flowers.

 

<SOLDIER LOST>

 

<BAD END: NECROPOLIS>

 

<Thank you for playing, Emperor Zarkon>

 

<Play again?>

<y>


	5. ENDING FIVE

01101100 01100001 01101110 01100011 01100101

 

<Load last save point?>

<y>

 

<Please stand by>

 

<LOADING SAVE POINT>

 

<Loading…>

Lance is nine when he gets his first vision of Voltron...

 

<Loading…>

When Lance is ten, he dreams of the Blue Lion…

 

<Loading...>

Lance is eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…

 

<Loading…>

In private, Zarkon calls Lance the blue paladin…

 

<Loading…>

Sometimes, when Lance holds the stuffed blue lion close, he feels a vicious tug in his chest from outside his window…

 

<Loading…>

When Lance is close to the Blue Lion, he feels like the longing of it all might kill him…

 

<Loading…>

They notice him staring out the window for too long when Voltron is attacking…

 

<Loading…>

They start posting a guard in his room when they're in battle…

 

<Loading…>

They begin giving him quintessence instead of food…

 

<Loading…>

Then, the Blue Lion speaks to him…

 

<SAVE POINT LOADED>

 

 _I… I see. You did not know. I did not come for you._ The great presence cries and its tears are on Lance’s face. _I’m sorry, my paladin, I am sorry._

_All this time, I have left you alone._

_I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, my paladin, my dearest paladin, this is the only way._

 

<Continue from save point?>

<y>

 

The Blue Lion’s voice is too deep for his vocal cords. It rips them. “ _You will not use this boy again.”_

There’s a fleeting moment where Lance doesn’t understand, and then the bond in him begins to… to… to tremble.

To shudder.

To fracture.

To _break._

Lance feels the pieces chipping away, shattering away, bigger and bigger, empty space and open wounds and-

Through broken vocal cords, he screams, _“NO!”_ and he _p u l l s._

He pulls the Blue Lion back towards him.

She fights him, thrashing and roaring and crying, but he is crying too, he is crying _why are you leaving me why won't you stay why are you breaking me,_ and he's digs his claws into her and all the quintessence seeping along his veins rears its terrible golden head and swells and crashes and drowns.

Dimly, he’s aware of crouching on his hands and knees and panting and his eyes glowing so brightly that they’re reflecting in Zarkon’s dark pupils.

 _“Keep going,”_ someone growls, and someone is gripping Lance’s jaw, and Lance is sobbing, _sobbing,_ and he’s not going to stop but it’s not for his emperor, it’s for himself and he can feel the wrongness of it tearing him apart. He’s not supposed to force the Blue Lion to be with him and he can feel the bond between them changing, twisting, rotting like a disease and it’s killing her, he can feel her dying but _why why why_ won’t she just stay with him? He thought she loved him, he thought she was one of the only ones who loved him.

She’s trying to say something to him, beneath all the screams. _You don’t understand! You don’t understand what you’re doing!_ And she’s pleading with him to stop, to let her go, let her go forever.

 _Why?_ Why do all the other paladins get to be free and pilot their lions and sleep through a whole night without waking up screaming, to fly around the universe, to not be whipped when they mess up, to not be watched every second of every day, to not have Emperor Zarkon dig his claws into their flesh and force them to drink that terrible burning gold just so they would stop bleeding on the floor? And he’s the one the Blue Lion hates? He’s the one hurting her?

Why is he the one who has to get left behind? Why is it wrong for him to keep the Blue Lion with him?

 _Please,_ she whimpers ( _doesn’t she know pleading never works?_ ) and Lance throws up.

Someone presses a glass to his lips and he shakes his head but they force him to swallow the roiling quintessence. New energy surges through him and his retinas burn, burn and glow.

She’s giving up. He can feel it. But he wasn’t her last resort and he can feel her pulling away from the other lions. She’s going to stay with him, _she’s going to stay!_ But… but…

_It’s not enough?_

That’s what Zarkon is whispering in his ear and Lance flinches as they pour more quintessence down his throat.

The Blue Lion cries as she feels him following his orders, truly screams, and from his real body, Lance feels the ship shake under her bellow.

“No, no, no…” Lance mutters over and over, but his voice is getting deeper and deeper, louder and louder, until it sounds like an wild animal’s roar.

But he doesn’t care about the pain, not in this body, because he’s reaching through the Blue Lion to the Yellow Lion (Hunk panics as the controls are wrested from him, pressing the same buttons again as if it will make a difference this time) to the Green Lion (Pidge’s eyes widen as the lights in the cockpit flicker and turn to blue, running what diagnostics she can while frantically trying to get through to Allura, to Shiro, to anyone) to the Red Lion (Keith slams his controls forward and then slams his fists into the entire control, cursing) to the… to the… the Black Lion (Shiro is yelling for the paladins to come in, no, _it’s Zarkon yelling at him to finish the job and bring him Voltron, or_ is it Shiro with tears running down his face and terror in his eyes as Zarkon’s ship looms closer and closer because _Zarkon isn’t crying, he’s grinning because he’s won.)_

Lance brings Voltron to its knees.

 

<VOLTRON ACQUIRED>

 

<GOOD END: FRACTION OF A DOT>

 

<Thank you for playing, Emperor Zarkon>

 

<Save game?>

<y>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. -Carl Sagan


End file.
